Taking Care of Mom

For those of you who are trying to do the math, it is mid February…  That’s right, nine months ago I made an appointment for myself and got a little trim.  As someone who used to make a living as a hair stylist, I can assure you that nine months, without a trip to the salon, will generally earn you some pretty fabulous split ends.

The ironic thing is that the only reason I managed to sneak away for that hair cut last spring, is because I had a gift card that was burning a hole in my pocket, and we were about to move out of state, so the frame of time in which I had in which to use it was quickly running out.  The gift card was a birthday gift from my husband and kids for a full day at the spa, and my birthday was in July, 10 months prior.

I never did use the gift as it was intended… all at once, for a full day of rest and relaxation, a reward for all of my hard work at home. Rather, I broke it up into smaller increments, sneaking away for an hour here, a half hour there, all the while feeling guilty for spoiling myself and leaving my children at home, with their more than capable father.

So, as I sat there in the salon the other day, melting into the chair and staring at my exhausted reflection in the mirror, while my stylist worked her magic on my mane, I couldn’t help but think, when did I forget to take care of me?

I am currently 32 weeks pregnant with baby number three.  I have a 3 year old and a one year old, and I manage our household on a day to day basis, by doing all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, appointment juggling, finance handling, kid wrangling, etc.

When my husband needs a haircut, once a month, he goes… heck, I even make the appointment for him.  He doesn’t ask me if he can, he just says, “I’m going to get a haircut.”  When my son needs a cut, I take him.  I always make sure everyone else in our family is well taken care of.

It appears that I have only let that “care” slide when it comes to me… The thing of it is though, I have no one to blame for my lack of self care, but myself.

My husband often encourages me to go get a pedicure, to slip out for a massage.  Heck, he even purchased me another gift card for a mineral bath at a local spa as a Christmas gift this year.  He has asked me no less than once a week since then, when I am going to make my appointment, and yet here we are, it has been almost 2 months since Christmas, and I am due to give birth to our third child in approximately 8 weeks, and still no relaxing bath at the spa for mama.

Lately, my back is killing me, and I am incredibly uncomfortable.  I feel huge, and unkept, and well, if I’m being honest, I don’t exactly feel my best… and yet I can’t pry myself away from my children and our home for a little over an hour, every once in awhile, to go indulge myself in a little time for me.

I’m not entirely sure when a 10 minute shower, or a trip to the grocery store alone, become my version of a day at the spa, but somewhere along this path to motherhood, I undoubtedly lost my well-manicured way.

At the end of my appointment the other morning, I felt amazing.  My hair was bouncy and shiny, and styled the way I liked it, and that in itself was enough to leave me feeling oh so good.

Lately I have felt anything but good.  I have felt frumpy and washed up… but after this trip to the salon, it dawned on me.  When I shed the yoga pants and let down my “mom bun”, and I actually put in a little bit of effort, I really and truly feel so much better about myself…  My mood improves ten fold… and when I feel good, I am in a much better place to care for my family.

More than all of that, what kind of an example am I setting for my children if I’m not showing them that I take care of myself while also taking care of them?

So, from this moment forward, I am going to make a valid effort to better take care of me. My husband and children will no doubt, still come first, and I don’t think I’ll be heading to the spa for a day’s worth of treatments any time soon. I also highly doubt I’ll be shedding my yoga pants quite yet… but perhaps I will make that appointment for my mineral bath, maybe even attempt to blow dry my hair and style it a little more often.

Baby steps to start I suppose, but as mothers, we work so hard, I think we deserve a little pampering from time to time.